It's been awhile...

So I know I have been MIA since Easter, but needless to say I have been quite busy between motherhood, wifehood, and working like crazy. I definitely enjoy when our busy season at work slows down around Thanksgiving (I literally give thanks for it!) and I love the easygoing pace of wintertime. It's as if the cold and change in weather helps slow everyone down and remind them of the really important things in life. I haven't been to church since my daughter was a few months old earlier this year, but I am planning on going this Sunday and hope to begin reflecting on the messages and just reflecting on my week in general. I think it will help me a great amount in becoming a better example for my daughter.

This week has been tough just because since my husband started his new job, which is second shift, our daughter's schedule has gone all over the place to most recently staying up way past her bedtime no matter how many times I rock her to sleep or read to her. I'm praying that over the next week we can get her back on a better schedule!

Other than trying to set a better example for my daughter, I also want to become a better wife. This year my focus has drifted further away from marriage than I expected it to, so I need to reflect on how to bring the focus back. The first year after having a baby is definitely one that nobody can prepare you for especially since it effects everyone differently and no two babies are the same.

I'm not really intending to make this blog out to be a self-help blog for anyone else, but if any of my reflections, trials and tribulations can help you out then I'm glad.

God Bless :)

God's Plan is not always what you've planned

It is very easy to get lost in the whims of this earthly world and try to plan out every second of every day. 

For the past two years around Easter, God presents me with what I would consider a challenge of testing my faith. Two years ago I slowly started coming back to strengthen my relationship with God. Started out well, but then I met this guy, Shawn, who, yes, stole my heart. That guy is now my husband and father of our beautiful daughter!

Last year, at Easter time, I was not practicing my faith and my relationship with God had taken a back seat because I thought my relationship with Shawn was more important. Which, in a sense, was pretty true because low and behold God was working in a very mysterious way! About four weeks after Easter had passed Shawn and I found out we were expecting. The funny thing about the whole situation is that I had told Shawn that if I got pregnant then God must have thought that he was "the one" I was meant to be with. I was also struggling with a lot of personal problems, such as learning patience, to be more selfless, and to take better responsibility of my life. Well, for these first three months of our daughter's life I have slowly begun to learn those valuable life lessons!

God's grace has worked in the most joyous and peculiar ways over the past year and this year, on the day before Easter, I felt like the Holy Spirit was walking around inside of me banging pots and pans--parading around, if you will--to give me somewhat of a "wake up call" to go back to growing my relationship with God and Christ. Shawn and I watched "The Ten Commandments" (2006 version), "Noah's Ark" (2015 version), AND "The Passion of the Christ" (Mel Gibson). I have never felt a message be so clearly announced to me by God in my life! So, needless to say I have taken that message and I am living my life through Christ and following God's plan for me and my family to the fullest!!

The photo I shared above cannot describe how God works any simpler! Trust in Him and do not fret because His timing is IMPECCABLE!!

#LoveOneAnother #TrustHim #WalkingAlongHisFootprints

He is risen! He is risen indeed!

I tell you, it has been a hectic couple of weeks since I wrote my last post and I was planning on publishing this post this past Sunday! I have been blessed with being able to keep myself busy, so I am not caught with an idle mind that the devil can work evils upon, but I have never felt so exhausted either! Granted within a three day span I made a drive to visit my parents and back, which is typically a four-hour drive, so that took a lot of physical energy out of me. However, this past weekend I have felt too overwhelmed with not only spiritually, but emotionally. Mind you, I am not denying having too much God in my life, but I've been to several different groups within my spiritual "realm," if you will, and listening to everyone else's views and points on our particular belief system has been too much for my mind to take. I do appreciate it, though, because it has given me more knowledge and has allowed me to view some things differently than I personally would.

Over the past few weeks I have been introduced to many new people and exposed to many wonderful opportunities. I have also made some great friends that I know I won't get myself into trouble with! Things have finally continued to turn around for the better for me and I could not be more grateful for that! This past weekend with all the overwhelming ideas and conversations I have had with some of these new acquaintances and friends I have made have pushed me to figure out who I truly consider myself to be. I was born into a Catholic family, baptised as a Catholic newborn baby, had my First Communion with a different Catholic church, and was confirmed my junior year in high school with the same Catholic church I was baptised in. Among these conversations I have had with new friends, I have been repeatedly asked, "well, how were you saved?" I have had plenty of time to dwell on this question and I don't believe I have a correct answer because I have not only had God in my life all along, but even when I have personally doubted my faith and God's existence in my life I have caught myself praying, thinking about my faith and still building my relationship with God. Most of my new friends are considered "born again Christians," so their biblical theory lies with us being born sinners and are not accepted by God until we accept him as our Lord and/or Jesus as our Savior, which we then become "born again" with a new heart and soul. I am not bashing their theory or idea, and I can see the reasoning behind it, but I was born and raised in a Catholic family, so as of right now the only issue in my relationship with (my) God is that I have yet to go to a confessional to repent for my sins over the past several years.

Along with the overwhelming conversations I have come to realise that being that I was born and raised Catholic, it would probably just be easiest for me to stay as who I have always been. The only reason I ever attended a different church is because I could never understand God's message at the weekly Mass and I got bored with the traditional rituals. However, I feel that now that I am older and more mature I shouldn't have a problem listening and understanding the weekly messages given at each Mass. I am planning on attending my local Catholic church now, so I can get started in my own familiar faith and relationship with God.

It's late and I have been up researching all day because I recently started my own genealogical research project on my family and that can become very tiresome considering I don't give myself many breaks from it. It's just such a fascinating and interesting project! As for now, though, I am going to call it a night and get some rest. I have lots to do tomorrow.

"Speak, LORD, your servant is listening." 1 Sam 3:10

This past week I have been listening as closely as I possibly can to God and I'll tell you what--He has spoken to me in volumes all week long! I am so blessed to be able to communicate with Him on such a personal level and I am glad that I can finally hear what He has been trying to relay to me all these years. Almost three years ago I got dumped by my boyfriend of two years and it devastated me. I have been under the assumption that I have "moved on" because I have had several boyfriends after him. However, all the relationships after him (the boyfriend of two years) have been what I would call "rebound relationships" and never meant anything. I say this because I was trying to fill a void (the ex-boyfriend) with a new boyfriend...never gave myself a chance to "heal." Although, the ex-boyfriend had legitimate reasons for dumping me and I am currently trying to see if he is willing to talk about things because not only have I realized that my recent relationships have meant nothing, but I have also come to the realization that for the last several years of my life alcohol has had a huge hold on me. A lot of my past actions and what I did to the ex-boyfriend were all out of my alcoholic character, not myself. Now, mind you, I am not by any means making up an excuse or trying to excuse myself for my past actions--what's done has been done and I can never change that, but I have finally realized that I was never myself for the majority of those years because I used alcohol as my crutch and have finally chosen to let go of that crutch and replace it with God. I have laid down all of my burdens and problems and have entrusted my life by to God because I have utmost faith in Him and know He will heal me and relieve me of my problems if I just trust in Him.

Aside from realizing the light that was shed on my past relationships, I have also found a great congregation, women's ministry, and a young adult bible study group that I plan on continuing with. My love for God has grown even deeper this past week and I hope that no matter what trials and tribulations cross my path I will keep my faith in Him and keep walking forward with Him! He IS my Savior!

In our YABSG (young adult bible study group) we just started reading the book of James, chapter one. I will probably touch more on this in my next post as it's late right now and I need to jog my memory when I'm more "alert," but my favorite part of that passage is

"19: Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear[a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry. 20: For man's anger does not promote the righteousness God [wishes and requires]. 21: So get rid of all uncleanness and the rampant outgrowth of wickedness and in a humble spirit receive and welcome the Word which implanted and rooted [in your hearts] contains the power to save your souls."

I found that passage so great because it reminds me to just be patient, which anyone who knows me knows I have the biggest struggle with patience. It also reminds me to just trust in the Word and the Lord, and to not doubt anything because my life isn't meant to go MY WAY, it's meant to go HIS WAY!

The women's ministry that I "joined" meets every other Monday and is studying Beth Moore's "A Woman's Heart" bible study, but I think I am just going to go and listen/discuss what I know right now with them. I just ordered Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" bible study and hope to make time for that starting next week, but we'll see. Things have been hectic with school and work and making sure I complete everything when I need to--hence why my post is later this week.

Song of the Week :)

I'm sure I'll have more to say tomorrow after church, so until then happy daylight savings and good night! :)

And so my journey begins...again!!

I have gone back and forth repeatedly between my binges of selfishness and then my rediscovery of The Lord numerous times, but this time I have made a promise to myself and my Lord that I will never turn my back on Him ever again. Too many times I have fallen and stumbled when I try living my life on my own terms and that has only led me down a path of disappointment, loneliness and depression. Staying on this new path with God helps keep the bad distractions out of my life and just makes life more joyful--plus everyone else enjoys being around me a lot more than when I'm selfish and bitter.

I attended church for the first time in almost a year this past Sunday and the theme of the service was "Choices & Character," which I eventually found to be a great way for me to get started back on my relationship with God again. The pastor that spoke for this worship service discussed Ruth chapter two when she returns to Bethlehem with her mother-in-law after they have both lost their husbands. It shows that Ruth, who has no concern for what people say or think about her, just lives life by the word of The Lord. I read the book of Ruth yesterday and although it was short I really enjoyed it! Needless to say a great quote I remembered came to mind: "what everyone else says about you is none of your business." It is so very true! The choices we make whether by ourselves or surrounded by others truly shapes who our character is and becomes. This has helped remind myself that the longer you live life making better choices, the easier and more natural it becomes. I strive to be a good, humble Christian, but I have made this difficult for myself over the past several years because I have chosen to put myself before God time and time again.

After attending church Sunday, I attended a wonderful gathering with the church's Women's Ministry whose theme and discussion was titled, "I'm in Love!: Dating & Marriage Preparation." I feel I got more out of the group discussion part rather than watching the video. I felt the video was geared more towards people/couples actually preparing for marriage, which I am very far from. I may have a past filled with old boyfriends, but I have co e to realize I never gave myself a chance to grow and find myself on my own. It's unfortunate and sad to say that I honestly have had a revolving door of boyfriends since I was 15 with MAYBE a one- or two-month "single" time period in between each of them. Now, I'm not proud of this, but I'm not ashamed either. I'm glad I'm finally on my way to learning more about who I am and how strong I am on my own without a boyfriend! I am glad to have joined the Women's Ministry group because I feel that will help me a LOT! I'm also planning on becoming part of their Bible study group as well because I want to learn more about the Bible as I have never taken the time to study and understand it.

Well, I am off to bed now as I have a busy day ahead of me tomorrow, but I look forward to sharing more of my journey with whoever is reading this out there! May The Lord be with you if you so choose or if you're seeking Him and may God bless you! :)