I tell you, it has been a hectic couple of weeks since I wrote my last post and I was planning on publishing this post this past Sunday! I have been blessed with being able to keep myself busy, so I am not caught with an idle mind that the devil can work evils upon, but I have never felt so exhausted either! Granted within a three day span I made a drive to visit my parents and back, which is typically a four-hour drive, so that took a lot of physical energy out of me. However, this past weekend I have felt too overwhelmed with not only spiritually, but emotionally. Mind you, I am not denying having too much God in my life, but I've been to several different groups within my spiritual "realm," if you will, and listening to everyone else's views and points on our particular belief system has been too much for my mind to take. I do appreciate it, though, because it has given me more knowledge and has allowed me to view some things differently than I personally would.
Over the past few weeks I have been introduced to many new people and exposed to many wonderful opportunities. I have also made some great friends that I know I won't get myself into trouble with! Things have finally continued to turn around for the better for me and I could not be more grateful for that! This past weekend with all the overwhelming ideas and conversations I have had with some of these new acquaintances and friends I have made have pushed me to figure out who I truly consider myself to be. I was born into a Catholic family, baptised as a Catholic newborn baby, had my First Communion with a different Catholic church, and was confirmed my junior year in high school with the same Catholic church I was baptised in. Among these conversations I have had with new friends, I have been repeatedly asked, "well, how were you saved?" I have had plenty of time to dwell on this question and I don't believe I have a correct answer because I have not only had God in my life all along, but even when I have personally doubted my faith and God's existence in my life I have caught myself praying, thinking about my faith and still building my relationship with God. Most of my new friends are considered "born again Christians," so their biblical theory lies with us being born sinners and are not accepted by God until we accept him as our Lord and/or Jesus as our Savior, which we then become "born again" with a new heart and soul. I am not bashing their theory or idea, and I can see the reasoning behind it, but I was born and raised in a Catholic family, so as of right now the only issue in my relationship with (my) God is that I have yet to go to a confessional to repent for my sins over the past several years.
Along with the overwhelming conversations I have come to realise that being that I was born and raised Catholic, it would probably just be easiest for me to stay as who I have always been. The only reason I ever attended a different church is because I could never understand God's message at the weekly Mass and I got bored with the traditional rituals. However, I feel that now that I am older and more mature I shouldn't have a problem listening and understanding the weekly messages given at each Mass. I am planning on attending my local Catholic church now, so I can get started in my own familiar faith and relationship with God.
It's late and I have been up researching all day because I recently started my own genealogical research project on my family and that can become very tiresome considering I don't give myself many breaks from it. It's just such a fascinating and interesting project! As for now, though, I am going to call it a night and get some rest. I have lots to do tomorrow.
