"Speak, LORD, your servant is listening." 1 Sam 3:10

This past week I have been listening as closely as I possibly can to God and I'll tell you what--He has spoken to me in volumes all week long! I am so blessed to be able to communicate with Him on such a personal level and I am glad that I can finally hear what He has been trying to relay to me all these years. Almost three years ago I got dumped by my boyfriend of two years and it devastated me. I have been under the assumption that I have "moved on" because I have had several boyfriends after him. However, all the relationships after him (the boyfriend of two years) have been what I would call "rebound relationships" and never meant anything. I say this because I was trying to fill a void (the ex-boyfriend) with a new boyfriend...never gave myself a chance to "heal." Although, the ex-boyfriend had legitimate reasons for dumping me and I am currently trying to see if he is willing to talk about things because not only have I realized that my recent relationships have meant nothing, but I have also come to the realization that for the last several years of my life alcohol has had a huge hold on me. A lot of my past actions and what I did to the ex-boyfriend were all out of my alcoholic character, not myself. Now, mind you, I am not by any means making up an excuse or trying to excuse myself for my past actions--what's done has been done and I can never change that, but I have finally realized that I was never myself for the majority of those years because I used alcohol as my crutch and have finally chosen to let go of that crutch and replace it with God. I have laid down all of my burdens and problems and have entrusted my life by to God because I have utmost faith in Him and know He will heal me and relieve me of my problems if I just trust in Him.

Aside from realizing the light that was shed on my past relationships, I have also found a great congregation, women's ministry, and a young adult bible study group that I plan on continuing with. My love for God has grown even deeper this past week and I hope that no matter what trials and tribulations cross my path I will keep my faith in Him and keep walking forward with Him! He IS my Savior!

In our YABSG (young adult bible study group) we just started reading the book of James, chapter one. I will probably touch more on this in my next post as it's late right now and I need to jog my memory when I'm more "alert," but my favorite part of that passage is

"19: Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear[a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry. 20: For man's anger does not promote the righteousness God [wishes and requires]. 21: So get rid of all uncleanness and the rampant outgrowth of wickedness and in a humble spirit receive and welcome the Word which implanted and rooted [in your hearts] contains the power to save your souls."

I found that passage so great because it reminds me to just be patient, which anyone who knows me knows I have the biggest struggle with patience. It also reminds me to just trust in the Word and the Lord, and to not doubt anything because my life isn't meant to go MY WAY, it's meant to go HIS WAY!

The women's ministry that I "joined" meets every other Monday and is studying Beth Moore's "A Woman's Heart" bible study, but I think I am just going to go and listen/discuss what I know right now with them. I just ordered Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" bible study and hope to make time for that starting next week, but we'll see. Things have been hectic with school and work and making sure I complete everything when I need to--hence why my post is later this week.

Song of the Week :)

I'm sure I'll have more to say tomorrow after church, so until then happy daylight savings and good night! :)